One of
the baked-in problems of political humor is that it’s quickly dated. A joke
that brings the house down today might have folks scratching their heads a
decade later. Another issue is that political humor these days divides. Half
the audience laughs, and half the audience is offended. It seems to be a career
track fraught with danger.
But consider
the case of Will Rogers. He was born on November 4, 1879 in the Cherokee nation. He had a quite a slate of careers. He wrote. He acted. He did Vaudeville. He
was a cowboy. Frankly, he didn’t sit still much. He is best remembered these days for his
political humor. He died in 1935, yet his political humor is as spot-on today
as it was when he was entertaining America early in the last century.
Here is a sampling of gems from a fellow who could get the whole audience to laugh. I'd have waited until August 15 (the date of his death) to post this but America needs stuff like this right now. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves and with each other.
Enjoy.
* * *
"...Never
blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they
don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous."
"...Our
president delivered his State of the Union message to Congress. That is one of
the things his contract calls for -- to tell Congress the condition of the
country. This message, as I say, is to Congress. The rest of the people know
the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea
what is going on in America, so the president has to tell 'em."
"...The man
with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get
up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'"
"...Democrats
never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each
other, they'd be Republicans."
"...As a
young boy, I didn't know a Republican from a Democrat, only in one way: If some
man or bunch of men rode up to the ranch to sit or stay all night, and my
Father set me to watching 'em all the time they was there -- what they did and
what they carried off ...I learned they were Republicans."
"...Politics
has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated."
"...Their
greatest trait to recommend the Democrats is optimism and humor. You've got to
be an optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one."
"...Congress
is so strange; a man gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and
then everybody disagrees."
"...I don't
make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
"...There
wasn't any Republicans in Washington's day. No Republicans, no Boll Weevil, no
income tax, no cover charge, no disarmament conference, no luncheon clubs, no
stop lights, no static, no head winds. My Lord, living in those days, who
wouldn't be great?"
"...There is
something about a Republican that you can only stand him just so long; and on
the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can't stand him
quite that long."
"...The 'Ways & Means Committee' is a committee that's supposed to find
the Ways to divide up the Means."
"...Politics
is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like
to watch both of 'em at play, either back home in their native state, or after
they've been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington."
"...I am not
a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."
"...Alexander
Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our
country has ever been to being even."
"...America
has the best politicians money can buy."
"...A fool
and his money are soon elected."
"...The only
difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time
Congress meets."
"...This
country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby
gets hold of a hammer."
"...Congress
meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that
which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for
they know not what they're doing. Amen"
"...Many a
politician wishes there was a law to burn old records."
* * *
Be good
to each other.
* * *
