(Note from your favorite idiot: I sent an earlier version of this to the newspaper. I wrote it in one shot, refused to edit because I was late for work, and emailed it. The paper wisely chose not to run it. I tweaked it a bit. Enjoy! - Jimbo)
As we revisit the 1930's, the Administration recently suggested raising chickens to combat high egg prices.
Fair enough.
Here's what you’ll need: A coop, run, feeders, bedding, feed, plus various and sundry supplies. And, of course, chickens and veterinary care for your flock.
The annual outlay for all this can run a grand a year. Initial setup costs perhaps another grand. (Don’t let the expenses scare you. You’re winning!)
Once you invest in all that stuff, you're set, right?
Not quite. Next you must comply with state and local regulatory hell.
Pennsylvania, for instance, may require a written plan for managing chicken manure.
Ok …you’ve handled the chicken poop. You’re all done, right?
No! You're just getting started!
There may be local zoning requirements. For example: a setback from the property line or house for your chicken enterprise may be required. The flock’s size and genders (hens or roosters only, no outliers are recognized) may be restricted.
Done? Are you kidding, silly rabbit?
If you live in a Home Owner Association neighborhood, you better check those bylaws, kids! You may be fined for violating them if you start raising feathered egg factories!
Heavens, I almost forgot: How much labor is required by YOU for chicken farming?
• You’ve got to feed and provide water for your chickens.
• You have to collect the eggs, of course.
• Regular cleaning of the coop and chicken run are required.
• Don’t forget to check the little buggers for health issues.
• Be on guard for predators (animal and two-legged).
• Be aware chickens may escape if the coop gets damaged. Your investment may end up as Sunday dinner for a neighbor if one of your assets flies the coop.
I’m sure there’s more, but hey: you’re winning!
One last thought: Consider that by the time you start churning out the eggs and occasional Sunday dinner, egg prices may fall. But you’ll still be shoveling chicken …manure.
