Fringeville #215: ** BREAKING NEWS ** Wingnut James O'Meara Suspends Presidential Campaign

Plains, Pennsylvania UPI-Oh-Ki-Yay

“It is with profound sadness that I announce today that I am suspending my Presidential campaign. Despite the efforts of my dedicated campaign staff …and, hey, thanks to both of you …we just couldn’t get traction.

“I tried to show America that a moderate candidate can win again. I am neither a left nor right wingnut. I eat'em all. And I tell the truth: wing bites are glorified chicken nuggets.

“Our campaign events have been sparsely attended. Counting the wait staff at the Chicken Coop, our last campaign event attendance was three, barely half of Joe Biden’s recent event at a day spa in New Hampshire where his leg hairs were being colored and curled.

“This may be the end of the campaign, it’s too soon to be sure. But for now it is suspended until further notice.

"Are there any questions? Yes, you in the back of the line, you have a question?”

“Yeah, are  you gonna shut the #@$^ up and order your takeout wings. You’re holding up the #!$%^ line!!”

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Be good to each other. ...and pass the Cajun Bleu sauce…

 

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Fringeville #214: Avoiding Blimpification

...Um...I'm never going to look like this, keto or no keto...

...a very good friend of mine asked me a while back what "keto" is after I posted on my weight loss.

First, I am not on a strict keto diet. It's because at my age I know my own mind. At some point, I rebel against everything. If I put my diet in a confining box, I will resent the walls. I will rebel. I will grow a butt with its own zip code.

I follow a keto-influenced diet. University of Michigan dietician Kevin Joy wrote an article last year on keto, pointing out its strengths and potential drawbacks. One of the concerns was yo-yo dieting (...yeah, I know I was a yo-yo before I ever started a diet but read on...) which is what often happens when one comes of a diet and slips back to the old bad habits. (In other words, blimp city.)

In my case, that is what happens when I rebel. I get a little skinny. Rebellion comes. I blimpify.

Instead of too tightly constraining myself, I've adopted keto as a guiding lifestyle. I feed my dark side the occasional treat from the old days, but my primary diet is (as pointed out in the U of M article) "...a low-carb, high-fat diet rich in meats, eggs, nuts and dairy." I strictly limit "fruits, root vegetables, grain products and legumes" but I don't follow a strict ban.

With one exception: I don't use sugar.

It's impossible to avoid completely because it is in so many, many things but I haven't added sugar to a damned thing since being told I was pre-diabetic. My white bread consumption is also down at least 90%. It would be 100% but ...and here comes that word again ...I would eventually rebel against a total hoagie ban.

I know people who do very well on a stricter flavor of keto, and I am certainly not knocking them. But, again, I know my own mind. I'm a frigging rebel at heart. If I don't occasionally feed the beast, it will feast on me.

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 ...be good to each other. (Is that a hoagie over there??)

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