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Thursday, July 4, 2013

Fringeville #94, July 4 2013

Get Stuffed for the Holiday
A long time ago, in a blogosphere far, far away I used to post the occasional recipe. I came across this one recently while reviewing old files and decided to make this "Big Ass" sandwich recipe for my niece's July 4 shindig. Here's the recipe from my old website. (Happy July 4, all, and don't blow yourselves up! You'll need all your fingers to eat these.)

Big-Ass (B.A.) Roast Beef-Turkey-Bacon Sub Supreme

This may be the best sandwich you ever sink your teeth into (though getting your mouth around it might be a challenge)! Just because this is a Big-Ass (B.A.) sandwich, however, doesn't mean it's not full of good things. Light food? No ...but you'll be surprised how well some of the "lite" ingredients round out this creation. Looking for a calorie count anyway? Divide a bazillion by two, and you're in the neighborhood.

What you need: 

Sandwich Essentials

One long loaf of French bread (In paper...not the crust is firm!)

½ pound thinly sliced deli roast beef (so thin it almost melts in your mouth)

½ pound thinly sliced cracked turkey breast (the cracked pepper is a tasty touch)

½ pound thinly sliced provolone cheese (Also from the deli. Packaged stuff is too thick)

3 oz. fresh, washed baby spinach

½ cup very, very thinly sliced Vidalia onion (thick slices of onion overwhelm folks)

8 slices crispy (but not overdone) maple-cured bacon

Roasted red peppers (as many or few as you like!)

½ cup fat-free Italian dressing in a bowl (works very well for a B.A. without closing off your major cardiac arteries)

IMPORTANT => One bottle of high-quality beer

Sauce Essentials (Mix and set aside until needed)

½ cup "light" mayo (We use "light," but regular "infarction in a bottle" mayo is fine!)

2 tsp. honey

Dash of fresh ground pepper

What to do:

Mix together the "Sauce Essentials" in a bowl and fridge it till you need it.

Open a beer. Taste it to be sure it's not flat. Place the can in front of the sauce in your fridge.

Cook up that bacon many good things start with pork fat!!

Cut the loaf of French bread in half, then carefully split each half (don't separate the top and bottom, you want to be able open the bread up like a big, tasty book!)

Use a pastry or bar-b-que brush to brush Italian dressing on the bread top. Fat-free Italian is great here!!

Next, open the fridge. Check the beer, to make sure it's still delightfully effervescent. Carefully place the beer back in the fridge. It is a crime to spill an open beer.

Grab your B.A. sauce. Use a spatula to spread the sauce evenly across the bottom halves of your B.A. (*REMINDER: If you're reading this recipe aloud, it sounds better when you stick to the abbreviation!)

Layer the provolone cheese across the bottoms of your B.A., followed by the very thinly sliced Vidalia onion. Pile on the bacon!

It's Popeye time. Give that baby spinach a home on your B.A.!! (...yes, you could use lettuce here...but then it's just another ordinary sandwich.)'s the beef. If it's very thinly sliced, you can really pile on even layers of hearty flavor!

Now lay on the cracked turkey breast and roasted red peppers. Carefully close your B.A. Sandwich. (You may need to lay the flat of a long bread knife across the filling while you pull the top down. This sucker is stuffed full of goodness and might not close easily!)

Cut each B.A. sandwich half into thirds and arrange on a platter.

Go to the fridge after noticing the beer you opened was not used anywhere in this recipe. No self-respecting B.A. Sandwich eater lets a beer go flat. Take a piece of the B.A. and the beer to the table and stuff yourself silly. Immediately after eating, assume the usual position in your recliner and wait for the calories you just ingested to take full effect.

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