Total Pageviews

Friday, January 18, 2013

Fringeville Edition #82, January 18 2013

We're on our own now, kids...

Dear Abby:

My great aunt (let's call her Beansie) visits us several times a year. She's a dear old woman, and we love her to death, but she has a major, major gas problem. Last night, she even let one fly at the dinner table! (She picked up the tablecloth, looked beneath it, and said, "...Bad, bad, doggie!" Abby, we have cats!)

We're at wit's end. How do we approach Aunt Beansie about this without hurting her feelings?

Flatulence in Frisco


Dear Abby:

Our son just got engaged to a girl with jewelry in "unusual" places. We've been tolerant, but now she's sporting nipple rings and she's constantly pulling up her shirt to show them off. My husband wears a pacemaker, and this young woman is going to burn the pacemaker battery out with her constant shirt-lifting to show off her little gold rings. But our Herby adores this woman. It's his first love, and we don't want to drive a wedge between them.

How can we lay out the ground rules without offending our son?

Melonsaplenty in Muncy


Dear Abby:

My husband "Hershey" has a horrible, horrible habit that's driving me nuts. He leaves his dirty underwear all over the house. I find them on the bathroom floor, the living room floor, hanging from bedposts, draped over our lamps ...and even on the dining room table. I've tried talking to him, and he promises to stop, but next thing I know there's dirty Fruit of the Looms in my fruit bowl.


Skidmarks in Scranton


* * *