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Friday, September 30, 2011

Fringeville Edition #36, September 30 2011


Mystery Orb Appears Over Northeastern Pennsylvania

NORAD scrambled a pair of F-16 fighters when an intensely bright glowing orb appeared over Northeastern Pennsylvania. 

A spokesman for the military confirmed that missiles were fired at the object, but they apparently fell short of their target. Three of them exploded harmlessly over unpopulated areas. The last struck an outhouse north of Noxen. Fumes from that explosion forced nearby residents to evacuate, but no injuries were reported.                

Many residents of the region saw the mysterious object. 

“I went out to tend my garden,” said Clementine Kadiddlhopper of Pittston Township. “I was bathed immediately in a bright light. I saw this blinding globe in the sky. It was impossible to look at for more than an instant.” 

A neighbor concurred. “I decided to cut my grass. I saw the danged thing just hanging there. I was outside for hours, and it hovered over me the whole time.” The man, who declined to give his name, said his bare back and arms were burned by the object’s intense radiation. 

Some residents claim to have seen similar objects over the area in the past. 

“There is a pattern,” said a military investigator. “The object appears only when there’s a rare break in the rainy weather. We think it hovers above the clouds. If it comes back again, we’ll scramble more aircraft.”

A Plains township man snapped a picture of the object on his way to work. 

“I had to pull over,” said 53 year-old James O’Meara. “I went around the corner near Dan’s Keystone Grill and saw that thing floating in the sky. I snapped a quick picture and escaped before it attacked.”

Mystery Orb